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You never know what to expect when you take on a new job, especially being a Resident Assistant (RA) on a university campus. Being an RA comes with a great deal of responsibility. Among these responsibilities is one to create community for 29 new freshman on your floor. You have no idea what these students will be like, what backgrounds they come from, or how they will all interact when they come together. The only tools you are given to help you out are a list of student names and the piggy bank of knowledge from your past experience in which you have added your two cents.
It takes a lot of work at the beginning as does anything that you want to last for a long time. Everyone has to get used to each other and build a level of trust. Students have to adapt to sharing living spaces, finding their group of friends and support group, figuring out how to do well in their classes as well as balance their social life with their academic life. For them, the first few months is a trial-and-error experience, and I have seen it first hand. They go out and test the limits, or at least observe those who are, to develop a sense of the illicit loopholes to figure out the realities to campus policy and school culture. They are young, they are excited for college, and they are just waiting for some action... as they should be.
One of the most difficult barriers that the RA faces is playing the role of both friend and "cop". The policy enforcement role of the RA can make it difficult for the RA to initiate a connection with the students because they are conflicted on whether or not the information that they share with you will incriminate them or if they can trust you with what they say. What is important for the students to understand about the RA role is that the number one concern for the RA is taking care of the community and its members. The RA is not on a mission to go out and get the students in trouble. In fact, it is very much the opposite. My role as an RA this year has placed me in many situations where my residents really needed me and I was there to help them with what they were going through. When such moments end up happening, it is really a reminder to the RA of the importance of their role at the university and how what they do really does make a difference in the lives of his or her residents.
It is also difficult on the RA when they have to document a policy violation with their resident students because they know that it will have an effect on the connection that the RA had with those students. The RA doesn't want them to feel like they are bad for what they have done because the residents are not bad individuals. They just made a mistake, and mistakes are part of the learning process for college and for the whole world. The follow-up process from such an event can also be difficult because some residents will be less open to discussing the situation with you than others based on how they were affected by the event. What residents don't usually know is that the RA really cares about them and doesn't want anyone in the community to feel down or singled-out. To fix this, the RA has to figure out how to reengage with their residents to make things good between them and with the rest of the community.
Most of the situations that an RA confronts are unexpected, so the RA has to be able to respond at times of need. This is where responsibility hangs so heavily on an RA. The RA is the person on the floor who the residents look up to for support in urgent matters as the person who knows the proper decision to make in a certain situation. This year some of the situations that I have been through have been really difficult and complicated, and to be honest, figuring out what the best decision is isn't always the easiest thing. That is where experience comes in; my two cents. For those tough situations, you need to act on your gut and prioritize. You also have to keep yourself in control as well as the residents around you. You have to be the leader because no one knows what to do better than you do, and you need to trust that in yourself.
So far, I have been in a wide array of situations and experiences with my residents that have really made it one wild ride for all of us. We have had floor meetings together, argued over politics, come together to deal with tragedy, laughed over vermin in the living area, developed a sense of pride through intramural sports, made mistakes, helped each other with homework, had meals together, and have always watched out for each other. As far as this has been, I couldn't wish for anything else for my floor of freshman residents.
Being an RA is a huge leadership position. It tells you a lot about life, people, problem solving, and relationships. Am I glad I am an RA? Absolutely. Do I feel what I do makes a difference? I do, and I hope that my residents and those that think about being an RA see this because much of what an RA does is not seen in the foreground. They really don't know how the RA is looking out for them and how the RA is helping his or her residents to start off college in the right direction.
To the Embers, this is for you. You have all come together to become great individuals on this campus. It has been a pleasure to share this ride with you and it has only just begun.
Remember: Embers burn together... always.
The Furnace
